i curse the fading of the light
by katanafleet
Summary: She sits up and brushes the hair away from her face. A few paces away, she sees a man with black hair and blue eyes, his hair falling past his shoulders. His suit is mussed and he holds a bloodied dagger. "Haji." A grin breaks out across his face. It seems like her word has brought forth the glow of a sunrise in his eyes.


A month passes slowly. A month since she killed Diva. A month since she begged Haji to kill her. A month since Haji begged her to live and convinced her with his love. A month since she lost him.

They're back in Okinawa, and it's the same and different. Riku and George are missing, but Omoro is the same. She feels more alive than ever before and she feels the oblivion of sleep calling and whispering and longing.

Soon she will rest. She will rest in the dark oblivion of her sleep and she will not have to breathe with the agony of living without her Chevalier.

There is joy, of course. There is always joy in the present as long as she doesn't look into the past. Kanade and Hibiki are going to grow into beautiful children, and she feels the flutter of Julia and David's unborn baby. And Kai laughs again. Right here, right now, she wishes she didn't have to leave her family for so many years. This peace and love and home, what she has now, it's all she's ever wanted. But she knows they'll be waiting for her.

She feels the long sleep coming. She masks it with laughter and jokes and the love of friends. But eventually she staggers outside of the bar, and it can't be denied anymore.

Kai finds her, as she had known he would, and he gently carries her to the crypt.

* * *

" _We love you, Saya_ ," a voice whispers.

* * *

She dreams of flashing lights, of glowing red and brightest blue. She sees the secrets of the universe and the darkness of hell. Everything and nothing at once.

* * *

"Saya." It's a different voice. Lower. Agonized. "Saya, forgive me for not returning sooner." The rustle of fabric, then the warmth of a hand resting against her.

A long sigh, a shuddering breath. " _I love you_."

* * *

Time passes. "Please, Saya, forgive me. For everything I said the last time I saw you. I disobeyed your wishes in favor of my own." More warmth, like the voice is pressing its forehead against her body. "As a Chevalier, that is one thing I must never do. I betrayed you, even though it kept you alive. I cannot be truly sorry for making you live, but I do regret my selfishness in disobeying you. Forgive me, my love."

The warmth is gone. She misses it.

* * *

"Hi, Auntie Saya!" the voices squeal in unison.

One speaks above the other. "Is it comfy in there, Auntie Saya? Uncle Kai, is Auntie Saya okay in there?"

"She's in a cocoon, Kanade," another voice says. It's the same voice as before, the one from so long ago. "It's like the caterpillars outside in the trees, remember? She's all comfy and warm and when she wakes up, she'll come back out."

"When can Auntie Saya come play with us?"

A loud sigh, a hand rests against her covering. "It'll be a long time, Hibiki. You'll have to be patient."

* * *

There is nothing but darkness, but she is warm and safe. Peaceful chords dance through her memory.

* * *

"Your family came yesterday, Saya." The calming notes of the voice's instrument almost drown out his words. "I watched them but did not speak to them." The voice is quiet for a long time. "I am a coward, Saya. I cannot show myself to them. I was not here for you when you needed me. You had Kai, but I should have been here to carry you."

She twists in her wrappings for a moment. The voice is silent. Footsteps tap across a stone floor, and a hand rests against her again.

"I should have been here for you. My Queen and my love."

In the darkness, a name spins. She knows him and she does not. A memory emerges and sinks once more into the darkness of dreams.

* * *

"It's been twenty-seven years, Saya," a voice says. The first voice. Older than before.

No one replies.

A loud sigh. "Kanade and Hibiki are all grown up. Kanade looks like exactly like you but with bright blue eyes. I swear I'm going to have to beat the boys off soon if they don't leave her alone. Hibiki looks like Riku, but she has your eyes and hair. Her voice is the prettiest noise I've ever heard. I wish you could see them. They get into even more messes than you did. They haven't gotten to come to see you in a few years, but they love you."

Footsteps going away, then a pause. The footsteps return.

"Haji's left you another rose, Saya. I don't know where he is, but he wants to see you too. I didn't understand it for so long, but I understand him now. I understand how he longs for you. I've felt that kind of love now, and I want to see your faces when you see each other again."

The voice taps on the side of the coverings. "Please wake up soon, Saya. I can't wait for you to walk in the world that you saved."

* * *

Warmth. Like nothing she's ever felt. She hears the notes of the instrument. A wave of calm rushes through her and the nightmares stay away for a while.

"I can sense it, Saya. You're waking up. Soon, you'll be awake again." A hand rests against her. "Before you wake up, I want you to know something." A deep breath. "I love you, Saya. I love you more than anything in this world, past, present, and future. You're in my body, your blood runs through my veins, and I know nothing without you. _I love you, Saya_."

With a flash of animalistic awareness she awakens. The sticky fibers of her cocoon suffocate her, and she claws her way free, letting little growls escape. She lands on the ground, her knees and hands instantly smarting with the impact. She's awake, and she's free. For a moment, she rests. Her hair flows around her, covering her head.

" _Saya_."

It's the voice, the voice she's heard for so long. She hears the slide of metal against skin, and she smells the sweet tang of blood. A hand reaches down to her level, blood pouring from the cut in the middle, and she drinks.

Memories flash back. The Zoo, Russia, Vietnam, Okinawa, England, New York—One person by her side throughout the long, long years.

She sits up and brushes the hair away from her face. A few paces away, she sees a man with black hair and blue eyes, his hair falling past his shoulders. His suit is mussed and he holds a bloodied dagger.

" _Haji_."

A grin breaks out across his face. It seems like her word has brought forth the glow of a sunrise in his eyes.

Before she realizes what she's doing and not caring that she's naked, she flies across the room into his arms. He catches her, both of them falling gracefully to the ground. But she's still secure, as she knew she would be. The warmth of his embrace is home. "I thought you were dead," she murmurs into his shoulder.

"It took several days to extricate myself from the rubble of the hall," he whispers into her hair. His fingers wind themselves into the long mass. "By the time I made it back to Okinawa, you were asleep again. I am sorry I could not make it in time, Saya."

"Kai carried me," she replies, wrapping her arms firmly around him.

She feels his slow nod against her neck. "I knew he would protect you. That is the only reason I did not fear for your safety while I was away from you." Saya pulls away from his grasp for a moment. "What is it, Saya?"

She stares at him for several minutes: the depth of patience and despair and love in his eyes, the frown lines lightly dug into his forehead, and the slight upward curve of his lips that hasn't quite disappeared yet. She smiles and she can see his shock at her grin.

"I love you." His eyes widen. He's completely speechless, and Saya giggles. He pulls her closer. "I've loved you for so long that I don't quite know when it started. I think I've always loved you. I just didn't know what love really was until you taught me how to live. When you told me to stop fighting and to just live."

He stares for several more minutes. She feels the trace of his eyes on her face as if his fingertips were grazing her cheek, her forehead, her eyelids, her lips. She sees the moment he believes her, and she smiles. A second later he leans forward even as she matches his movement. Their lips collide.

A minute and an eternity later, Saya pulls away. They rest their foreheads together. Haji's grin has not faded, and she knows she'll keep smiling for hours.

"I love you, Saya."

For that moment, they need nothing else. The Queen and her loyal Chevalier. The battle is done, and now there is nothing to do but live for today, but look forward to tomorrow.


End file.
